Coffee Talk: More Compassion, Less Judgement



Is it easy for us to judge someone and what they are going through? To assume we know something? To think they are less than for not being able see out of a current situation? Or can we see with the eyes of clarity and compassion when difficulty arises for another? Being able to see someone with a clear and compassionate heart can allow another to open up to us in a way that can bring clarity to any situation. Something is triggered inside them when they feel supported. Something fantastic happens when they are not feeling judged or condemned and allows light to shine on any situation. Is this immediate clarity? No, not always, sometimes we must be patient and hold space with a loving heart for clarity to be seen. This happens in its own timing. Life cannot be rushed.

Can this shift a relationship when we stop thinking we know everything about what someone is going through? For all us intuitive beings out here we can see a lot some often don’t see. Even when you can see through a lot of bullshit we still must be patient and allow processes to unfold within the other person. The patience and compassion we show to others is the same that we show to ourselves as we pass through challenges. We tend to judge more quickly if we are accustomed to judging ourselves often. We all come to clear seeing much more quickly with compassion rather than judgement. Judgement assumes that you know something. What do we actually know? What could we possibly know about what another needs or doesn’t need? Perhaps this falling apart that someone is going through is the most beautiful recognition of what is unreal. We cannot be so quick to judge, our own situation or another. We must trust it is the perfect medicine for the moment. This is the dance of the beautiful mystery.

Judgement within intimate relationships can be easy because we may think we know our partner so well. However, judgement comes when we are not seeing them with fresh eyes.  The moment we start to judge our partner is the moment they will resist opening up to us. Our partner should be be able to talk freely about their inner self. If they feel they can’t it may not be because of them, it could be because they are feeling unsafe to share emotionally because they can feel our judgement. We are communicating constantly through subtle energy, if we are feeling a slight judgement this will be felt and cause a separation. Remember, any judgement made on another is a reflection of our own capacity to hold healthy space for ourself. Once emotional distance starts to happen within a relationship it can be really hard to come out of it. The more understanding, compassionate, and nurturing we can be the more beings will be safe to open up and feel comfortable to share in our presence. They will feel respected and loved because we are respecting and loving this aspect of ourself that also passes through challenges. It is higher for us to hold space within an experience than for you to think someone is a mess and give up. Normally, there are always diamonds right beyond the perceived mess and its worth being a little patient for. The mess that we see in another many times is reflecting some unfinished business in ourself. So, before making a judgement we must ask WHO is it we are judging? Where is this stemming from? Is this how I feel about myself? Who is the one who is even feeling these judgements? The one so quick to come to conclusions is most often the false self appearing real. This is the one who cannot be trusted. We cannot be so quick to judge the appearances of a situation. The appearance of what is going on, even if it is catastrophic, is sometimes the most beautiful occurrence in someones life. A possible destroying of the old and starting a clean and fresh slate. Don’t be afraid of the mess, many times there are gold and diamonds right under that mess we see. Let us be patient, kind, understanding, and know that we all go through hardship at different times. When we are flying high in life we cannot forget that others aren’t necessarily seeing life the same way. Our compassion will go a long way to share that joy within us and extend it to others. If your joy and happiness is true it will not hurt you to go beyond yourself to extend compassion and love to another.



Express Yourself <3

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